Rome Spring 2010 and the KLEINCHIK INVITATIONAL
THIS SEASON'S WINNERS ARE POSTED BELOW...
THE KLEINCHIK INVITATIONAL!!!!!!!
For those of you who have waited patiently - the Kleinchik Invitational is back!!!
For those of you who are new to the Kleinchik Invitational the rules are as follows:
We will post a picture and we will ask you to describe what is in the picture, caption the picture or come up with a new word describing some thing or act depicted in the photo.
Normally we will include an example.
You may submit as many entries as you want.
The King and Queen will judge which of the entries is the funniest.
The King and Queen like scatological, sixth grade humor.
Any entry and/or email about the contest can be used at the discretion of the King and Queen.
NOTE: In the past there were many people who entered and complained when their entry was not selected as the winner. Remember, this is a very subjective contest and is judged solely on the taste (or lack of taste) of the King and Queen.
NOTE: Some chronologically underage individuals may be reading this website so the King and Queen sometimes need to be careful with the responses they publish. In some cases we will take the liberty of altering the language of an entry to conform with our standards of decency (or standards of depravity).
CONTEST ENTRIES MUST BE POSTMARKED BY APRIL 30TH!!!!
(How is that for an archaic expression!!)
And here is the photo to be captioned:
"The last date: Luigi forgot to tell Maria that they were going to the movies by bicycle."
"The only thing missing for this to be a true Italian picture would be for him to be smoking and talking on his cell phone."
"The Bici Bang"
"Siamese fraternal twins, Aldo and Claudia, joined at the chest learned to do everything normal people do including riding a bicycle and making love to their boyfriends and/or girlfriends as shown below:
AND THE WINNER IS:
One note before proceeding: You may notice that we have not used last names which we have in the past to identify persons who enter the contest. This is due to what happened to the Queen's cousin who was up for tenure at her college and one member of the tenure committee `googled' her name and up came her fairly `dirty' entry to the Kleinchik Invitational contest. She was asked about it by the tenure committee so we have stopped using last names to protect the guilty.
As usual it was hard to pick a winner and this time there was a tie with both entries having the `Mile High Club” theme.
In addition, Karen M. also wins an award for the first entry - she obviously has no life - and Peter, the Queen's brother, wins an award for the most entries even though none of them was funny.
FIRST PLACE - A TIE
(A friend from South Carolina who submitted the first entry and wins a prize.)
Afraid to fly, they hoped for honorary membership in the Mile High Club after this feat.
(An entry from far away California and a first timer!!)
"Financial troubles have forced Nico and Maria to reduce the altitude of their 'Mile High Club' fantasy"
(A friend from Canada who always submits entries. He was only one hour away from being the first to submit an entry.)
Daisy, Daisy, I'm half crazy all for the love of you- On a bicycle built for two
How to pedal ass parroted the pimp to the prostitute while prepping a
prime cut to the priest in a parish precinct
(A biking friend from DC and a first time participant in the Kleinchik Invitational!!)
Great pair of wheels!
Keep your hands on the handlebutt.
I'm really feelin' it today!
Heel to tube.
(TheQueens brother and the winner for the most entries submitted.)
Woman accused of sexual assault by bicycle commuter. The picture
taken by an alarmed, concerned citizen is the evidence.
Commercial for safe sex in placecountry-regionFrance: man getting a shin job from local prostitute.
Bicyclist describes this as his "hardest" ride.
New sex dolls are more life-like with improved robotics.
Woman takes advantage of man in the saddle.
Even the most horrendous of monthly flows is protected
by Pocket Rocket Tampons.
I just love my brother.
Local lesbians, Butch (the biker) and Nellie, go green to work.
A scene from the movie "The Big Spill"
New improved TITanium crossbar.
(I lied Peter - this was funny.)
Holds twice the load at half the weight or twice the weight at half the load.
Two boobs on a bike.
"Alan In Wonderland"
For a tight fit use Ben Dover Toomey Condoms.
The shoes- what a croc! Made from genuine freshwater
It takes two hands to handle a Whopper. Now served on buns.
(Submitted from either Arizona or Massachusetts and another first timer!!)
Sophia says: "Ooh, I just love the feel of the new rear view mirror!"
(A friend from Junior and Senior High school in New York who I just saw after almost 50 years and a first timer!!)
"I really feel crazy riding backwards...but if I lift my foot I think I'll feel nuts!!
(A running friend from Maryland and one person I can always count on for an entry. She works at the Patent Office.)
Method of transporting two adults on a single road bike (Fig. 1 of Italian Patent No. 2,010,242)
Luigi thought a different type of foreplay would work better.
(My brother-in-law. I think this was an entry and not just a political statement meant for The Queen and I to enjoy Rome now while we can??)
Enjoy before the healthcare reform costs and the new proposed "value added tax" get us.
(My cousin who lives in the Catskill Mountains of New York.)
00oh, this is really a hard one!"
(We met Cindy on a bike trip a few years ago and have kept in touch by email but we may see her in Chicago when we attend one of our 6 spring/summer weddings. Cindy is a first timer.)
Unable to get a flight due to the the ash-filled sky, Freyja (the Norse god of love and fertility) hooked up with the next best thing, Jor (horse).
(Actually Freyja is the god of love, beauty, fertility, gold, war, wealth, magic, prophecies, battle, crops, child births, marriage and death - much too much for one god.)
(Gretchen is one half of the wonderful team that stores our bikes in Rome. Her entry comes from the furthest away but it would be silly to award her a bottle of Italian olive oil.)
"Oh, my, his shoes are even cooler than Nolan's."
(This comment automatically removes you from any prize consideration since the King's shoes are the coolest!!)
"One way to double-task!"
"Getting it on while moving on out!"